Sunday, October 15, 2017

letting things leave


thoughts are like the tangled roots of an old tree or maybe like the birds that wander around the sky. You are trapped within and grasped by the recurring curiosity of your roots or an idea that flies inside your mind like a bird. 

all alone in an empty room, I can sense being accompanied by randomness and alluring possibilities. It might appear complex at times like the last maths equation you couldn't equal to zero. Time and again you seem to blend with your thoughts as easily as those drops of paint I left untouched.

feelings are like those tiny bubbles I blew across your face and you popped them one by one making the air an empty space. And all I could ever do was reminisce how you laughed a few seconds ago.

all alone in an empty room, I can feel my blood hammering in the walls of my ventricles. I know you haven't done anything; you're not even here, but maybe that's what feeling something is. I feel heavy but my weight is still the same and I just wonder if it's the gravity that's pulling me towards you. 

 memories are all curled up like your curly hair if you let them grow. I roll them up like the negative reels we both have in the drawers that secure our pasts. 

all alone in an empty room, I close my eyes to view my natural projector replaying the reel. And when it ends to today, it feels like I just watched a movie that was never mine. Time and again I can hear your laugh making me wonder what was the silliest I could ever possibly say. 

you might be the pain I endured years ago or the success that transformed me or the failure that shattered my dreams or the person that couldn't remember my face. You live with endless reincarnations but I only have a form of myself. And I feel like it is in a state of crisis for all the things that have been staying.

like a soul departing from a corpse, you need to let me go. I'm letting you leave in peace and disappear among the unseen. 

all alone in an empty room, sometimes I really want to be alone.

photo by: Nurbu Lama

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| about the series |



n o t i o n s 

welcome to the series of my wandering thoughts. 

here, I'll take you on the ride to the land where I frequently pay a visit. 

the weather here is usually showering with ideas and learning.

and when there is a clear sky, there's the breeze that takes me to various places.

thank you for coming to my land.

and I hope to visit yours too.

read more about the adventure at notions

11 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful piece, Abani! I like the choice of music as well, the experience feels wholesome! :) Keep up the great work. Looking forward to more of Notions and you!

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    1. Yay! Thank you so much, Jenish dai! I'm so glad you went through it. (:

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  2. It's beautiful Abani<3 you're beautifu<3

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  3. I'd say "Dis dope!" like I usually do, but it's very smooth. A silent thunderstorm. Can't wait to see "the" post soon.

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    1. haha thank you so much, Ashim! (:
      Yep! Me too. Super excited to work on it. ^^

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  5. Replies
    1. Aww. So glad to find you here, Nagina! ^^
      Thank you so much! <3

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